You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
