Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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