Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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