what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize