I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
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