capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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