You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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