Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize