i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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