hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
