Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
