the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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