so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize