Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
