Please, let me fuck your mom
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
