guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
