is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
