Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
