i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
