There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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