Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
