My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Someone came in the potted fern
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
