I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
