Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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