We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
