I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
