Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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