What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
