Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
it was like eating out sand paper
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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