R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It's like God shit irony all over that family
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
