; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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