:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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