i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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