What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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