Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We need a shit load of segways right now
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
