When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
