What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize