evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize