If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
