I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
