She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
