I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
