Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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