We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
