Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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