After last night, I could never be a politician.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
