oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
