I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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