I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
