i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I will die if light touches me.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
