so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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