its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
