my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize