New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
