Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
