Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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