puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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