He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
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