If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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