Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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