I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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