well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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