We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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