I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
