All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
