Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
