She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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