What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm sobbing to NWA
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
