First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
