you guys were way drunker than both of me
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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