You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
