bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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