Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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