I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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