Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
